Would You Live in a Place Called Dildo?
Today, a dildo is the most recognizable sex toy out there. When someone talks of sex accessories, all of us, without exception, think of a phallus-shaped toy — a dildo. Dildos are fantastic for vaginal and anal masturbation, as they basically mimick a man’s penis and let you have sex on your own. They’re so popular, especially with women, as they help you simulate sex without having to go through all the other aspects of two-person sex.
Know the ways how you can have sex without having sex.
Some of us may love them so much we want to, rather creepily, live inside of one. When she gets drunk, aunt Karen yells out something like, “I love it so much, I consider myself a dildo resident!” It freaks everyone out, but that’s what Karen is like.
But is that just Karen’s impossible dream? It turns out it’s not! You can actually be a resident of Dildo — a Dildoian. There’s a place called like that, although most probably not named after the toy itself.
Where Is Dildo Located?
The town of Dildo is in Canada’s easternmost province of Newfoundland and Labrador. It’s on the island of Newfoundland itself, near Trinity Bay. The town itself, which has about 1,200 residents, is not the only place there that shares the name with this toy. In fact, there’s a nearby town of South Dildo. That part of Newfoundland is called Dildo Island (or Dildo Arm), and the entrance to it is Dildo Tip. It’s all playful and descriptive. Dildo itself is some 40 miles away from St John’s, the largest city and the capital of the whole province.
Believe it or not, Dildo Island has a long history. They’ve unearthed some elements that date back to 2000 B.C. Due to this, we know that there were Maritime Archaic aboriginal people knocking about. Although, to be fair, in all probability, they didn’t call it Dildo back then. Afterward, around 700 A.D., Eskimo people of the Dorset culture inhabited the region. They founded the town itself in the 18th century, a fishing outpost, catching mostly seals, cod, and whales.
What Is the Origin of Its Name?
Since it’s a place that exists since the 18th century, the word “dildo” doesn’t mean what we think it does. Or does it?!
Back in the day, dildo used to mean several things. Most commonly, it represented a small pin of a familiar shape that used to stick out of the edging of a rowboat. They used the dildo as an oar pivot. Alternatively, they called test tubes “dildo glasses.” It was also an insult intended to emasculate men. In 16th- and 17th-century ballads, a dildo (written “dil doul”) was a euphemism for men’s junk.
But going back to the town itself, in all probability, it is related to the phallus or a phallic toy. You see, back in the 18th century, the famous Captain James Cook sailed around Newfoundland and Labrador, together with his assistant and personal friend, Michael Lane. The two of them were in charge of naming and logging things and places they would come across. So they decided to have a laugh and would often amuse themselves by naming places quite liberally. That’s why there are many places on and around Newfoundland with quite interesting names. For instance, you can bump into Tickle Bay, Witless Bay, Cuckolds Cove, Pinchgut Point, and Blow Me Down. At one point, Cook suffered from a hand injury, and because of that, we call that spot Unfortunate Point.
Dildo, together with Dildo Island and Dildo Tip, was one of the places that Cook and Lane visited and decided to give it a memorable name. And the best part of it, the locals love it! They’ve never wanted to change the name, and they were always against any suchlike initiative. In fact, their official motto is, “Our Name Will Never Change!”
Dildo Festival
When you say something like, “I survived Dildo Days,” that can mean different things, depending on where you are. If you’re anywhere else on the planet, we’ll know you had one of the greatest and sweatiest weeks of your life. But, if you’re in Newfoundland, you’ve probably just been to Dildo Days — an annual festival in our favorite little town.
It’s a week-long festival that takes place every year in July. They organize mostly family-friendly events, such as dory races, children’s dance parties, a bike parade, and so on.
How to Get There?
You could perhaps ask Jimmy Kimmel, who is the town’s honorary mayor! You could go the old-fashioned James Cook way and travel on a boat. That way, you could also get to Cuckolds Cove and see what it’s all about. But the easiest way is by plane, as you can land at the nearby city of St. John’s. Then, just go west until you come across Captain Dildo, the town’s famous wooden statue!
